THE PROPER PROCEDURE
Thank you for your interest!
You can find some basic pointers in this poem as well as in the notes below.
Please send your financial, artistic or sexual offers to sirtijnpo@devilheadfilms.com and if we find them intriguing, we will send you further details about our processes.
FINANCIAL: STP only accepts clean money from patrons and investors, and he will always demand proof as to exactly where the money came from. ‘Clean’ for him means free of theft, abuse, drugs, weapons, etc. But if you got it through gambling and can demonstrate that, including stock-market or hedge-fund gambling, that’s OK. Inherited money is also OK. Money earned through honestly creating something beautiful and useful, however, will always take precedence.
There is no chance that any of you can afford to buy any of STP’s original artwork (they all start in the trillions of dollars [with some occasional minor discounts for top artists and poets, as well as active ballerinas and supermodels who rim]), nor is there any chance that he would modify the slightest detail of any work just to satisfy any investor or financier. But he would gladly include the name of said investor or financier in the project’s credits, or even on this site, and he would certainly honor any contract signed regarding production, partnership, distribution, royalties, etc., provided that at least some version of every work, including films, will always remain freely available online for those in need.
ARTISTIC: We are currently looking for:
- Editors and computer animators (After Effects, Blender, Cinema 4D) for FLUX and several other, far more ambitious projects.
- Photoshop artists who can manipulate photorealistic oil paintings for FLUX.
- Sound designers and cutting-edge composers.
- Actors and actresses – including non professionals – of all races and ages.
- Three fearless digital cameramen or women for a highly adventurous one-week project in August 2022.
- Graphic designers for various books and all sorts of STP-themed merchandise.
You can be located anywhere in the world, but must be top-notch, obviously. Compensation will be determined according to your interests and the laws of supply and demand.
If you have other skills and would like to collaborate with us, just show us what you’ve got and you never know…
SEXUAL: The process for sexual groupies begins with a thorough vetting process conducted by STP’s assistants, and covers all key areas of hygiene, health, legality, sexual skill and willingness to please.
Once you have successfully cleared the vetting process, you will be put on a waiting list for the next available slot.
The current wait time is approximately 2 years and the average slot lasts about 1-2 weeks, depending on your specific skill set.
Slots are filled with intense sexual activity and are occasionally sprinkled with some conversation or a bit of joint artistic exploration, but none of the latter can be guaranteed.
Groupies are not guaranteed any exclusivity with STP at all and you may find yourselves sharing slots with any number of groupies simultaneously.
Slots are usually limited to one-per-lifetime, although there have been two exceptions thus far.
If you are interested, begin by sending a brief video explaining why you think you can make STP happy and we will contact you if we like what we see.
Indulge!